Pinkie in search of a Waifu (Part 2) Bloom Into You

It is time to look for a Waifu again. Last time I looked at the characters of Liz and the Blue Bird and hosted a poll which one I should take to my rose ceremony Liz or Ririka. It ended up a 50/50 tie with one vote each.  Guess these polls don’t do a lot huh! Still I feel slightly more comfortable with Liz anyway so I will be my own tie breaker. She goes to the rose ceremony. On to find my next contestant. This time I will look at a little show called Bloom Into You. When I first started this I thought that all these characters would be a bit too childish for me, and while that thought never completely left my head, I will admit my heart skipped a few beats.  It’s been a while since I felt …understood like this. A lot of the characters in this show would get me.

Conceal Don’t Feel!

This show follows the high school life of Yuu Koito and her journey to (try) and fall in love.  Yuu never really understood love, she waited for that moment to be swept of her feet, but she has never felt it and is convinced she never will. When she sees her upperclassmen Toukou Nanami , a very popular  and seemingly very perfect and promising 2nd year student, rejecting a love confession using the “excuse” that she can’t fall in love.. she gets intrigued by this young woman. (Un)fortunately for Yuu, this senpai soon develops a massive crush on her and the woman she thought was like her now is what makes her most uneasy, yet maybe trough this woman she can finally learn what love is. The moment I saw Yuu make the confession that she never had really strong feelings of being in love and that she expects so much more gave me chills.  This was very close to what I feel… it’s not totally the same but similar enough. I don’t feel that thing you see in the movies either, I hear people talk about it all the time but to me it feels a lot more bland. This show deals with false expectations as heavy theme throughout the show. Yuu has false expectations about love, Toukou has a lot of false expectations and tries to live up to many of them as well. Sayaka Saeki is in love with Toukou, she along with Koyomi Kanou a young aspiring writer and friend of Yuu are depicted as the ones to break through these false expectations but more on them later. Yuu Koiti is a character with a very important message that ironically made me feel things. Romance isn’t  always that disney thing, it’s not about that thing in romantic comedies either where you just go wild with lust. Sometimes we experience things differently or not at all. Yet that doesn’t mean we do not experience anything. Maybe I could be with someone like Yuu because she is someone like me.

(she even kinda looks like my avatar)

Over the course of this 13 episode anime I definitely felt a lot of sympathy and compassion for the young pink haired damsel. The show features a lot of inner monologue which allows us to get to know the main three characters a lot more than through dialogue alone. Being the protagonist that is fairly straightforward and honest to herself we get to know Yuu the best. There is an honesty in her character that isn’t afraid to point out flaws of other characters in order to strengthen their bond I can deeply appreciate in her. She also isn’t afraid to play the mental game. She can analyse what her friends need and how they would react to certain situations and her thought process is very similar to my own.  She can see the need for kisses hugs and affection but isn’t really impressed by it. It’s all sort of nice but not what people make out of it. I feel the same way about the physical expressions of love. While I do not actually mind them all that much , I find them rather irrelevant. While I do like hugging, I do not need like someone to rub my feet.. or warm body to stick my cold feet under..eeew. Sex to me is extremely overrated. It’s kind of like junk food to me. Occasionally you get a craving and than you indulge but I would not want it on my plate everyday..eeewww. When I researched if I might be asexual one guy said the easiest test was to imagine the person of your dreams naked on a bed and a cake. You can only take one. Do this like a 100 times at different times and if you keep picking the cake you might be an ace. I would ask my naked lady friend to put on some clothes so we can share the cake with some tea together while we chat.. so while I do like some attention and love, I crave the emotion not the whole sheet wrinkling thing.

(Even if people stare at me longingly, I just stare back long)

It feels like Yuu might be the same, love feels dull to her. A kiss means little to her, yet that tiny feeling is enough for her. I like that we could have it good together. Unfortunately Yuu feels a bit too young for me. Like I know I should not make anime age to much of a issue her.. but mentally she is still to young. Throughout the show she seems a bit too naive and ignorant at times. She doesn’t really know who she is yet.. and more importantly what she wants yet. While the manga fixes this issue a lot better than the anime in terms of accepting her own preference to women in the anime everything is left a bit unresolved. Which is fine we know she will get there with time and how is left to our imagination, but Yuu doesn’t feel strong enough yet to be a component of the relationship. She is the source of someone’s else’s happiness. The shoe polish that makes someone else shine. She is the sandwich part of a peanut butter and jelly  sandwich. Sure she is an integral part of the relationship but everybody will only talk how nice the peanut butter or jelly are no one ever really talks about the sandwich. I want to make someone shine just as much as they make me shine.. so I feel with Yuu we would more likely become best friends/ near sisters.

(Maybe we could be more than friends…but……)

Don’t Let them Know!

This flaw of Yuu is shown even in the concept of the anime itself. While she is our main character the story of the show is never about her. It’s about Touko, the woman that is interested in her. Toukou  would not be a good match for me because she never really is herself. Which really goes against my own believes. In fact I really dislike Touko. She doesn’t deserve someone like Yuu or the love of someone like Sayaka. Funny enough Yuu and to an extend Sayaka both understand this as well. The great miss Nanami is but a charade that the entire world sees and both know that , that person isn’t really Touko. She is simply wearing a mask. Pretending to be something she is not. Being yourself is a very big theme is this anime as well and trough the series we see everyone learn this lesson but Touko, in fact for a while  thought the series would have ended with her suicide as we only see her get more and more lost. Her loved ones keep telling her to be herself.. but she made it her goal despite their request to be her dead sister. The perfect girl. 

(Nobody can know I am not perfect!… No one is perfect so everybody kinda knows)
(That equals FE-E or in other words Irony!)

Of course Touko is only chasing a dream because nobody is perfect. Yet another theme in this story, and a lesson I had to deal with. This show hit close to home in many fronts. I have pretended to me someone I am not, I have wore masks while I knew that that wasn’t the person I was. I strived to be someone I was not.. but that is a goal you can never truly reach. You can never go against yourself too much. So if you try to be not you.. you are doomed to fail, which results in self hate. This show captures that sentiment very well. Touko always reaching for something beyond her reach. Not just in terms of her main mission to become her sister, but to win sports events from actual jocks and to put on an epic stage play without theatre experience as well.The stage play is a perfect metaphor for Touko because everything she says to anyone but to Yuu, and in a very rare case to Sayaka is all fake. Like a script. I felt like that in the past.. I read scripts and I hated myself for doing it. So I completely understand Touko..but as she was at the end of the anime series she would be someone I would get very angry with. When I love someone I want them to be themselves all the time , I do not compromise to only see the real you in secret spaces. I want someone who can wholeheartedly commit to who they are, someone who accepts who they are. Not just who they want to be with. The person who did that best in this show will be my Waifu selection I will take to the rose ceremony with me. 

(I shall leave Yuu to you Touko, you might actually be good togehter ..for now)

Let it Go!

Sayaka Saeki is the one character that I found consistently strong and admirable throughout the series. Sayaka might seem to only be a love rival to Yuu but there is so much more to her. Sayaka functions a bit as the “true reality”  of this series. She isn’t someone who has it easy but she mostly sees things for what they are. Even Touko to an extend. One could say she lives to much for the woman she is in love with but unlike Yuu , Sayaka acts mostly in order to keep herself happy. She can’t confess to her beloved because she knows that she will be rejected by her. Which is pretty much established to be true. We see her notice stuff is going on between the two other main characters and she does decide to step in. Block what she doesn’t want as much as she could. Like Yuu she wants Touko to live life as herself but she doesn’t have the same reach as the pink haired damsel has. So the vice president of the student council will have to tolerate that younger girl in order to keep her dream alive. She is the most honest about herself about being attracted to woman and thusly she becomes something that no one else in this show really is. The one who knows who she is. She knows she is into women and that she can not change it. She knows she is into Touko but can not have her , rather than seeking out a mask to hide behind she is searching for reasons not to wear a mask. She is asking other lesbian woman about  their feelings so she can understand hers better. She has tried to change but know that she has failed and that she HAS to be herself. She is very much in a similar step of self exploration as I am. Her more serious and focussed nature might make her seem like a bit of a boring and spiteful character but she needs the right partner. In the past we see her as fun loving and more easy going and that can be drawn out. She isn’t perfect and she is aware of that but she is the only main character that is seeking out her own happiness rather than that of another. That is a very important step and it made Sayaka step right into my heart.

(OMG Saeki-Chan is so adorable like that!)

Now Sayaka got a bit hurt by the anime ending on just a “date” between Yuu and Touko, you have a feeling they will be alright, but Sayaka doesn’t really get much closure. We just see her sitting in a chair with some glasses and a book curled up getting distracted from her reading and that’s our goodbye to Sayaka. Which is a shame..but that same shot happend earlier and that was a moment that I thought “Wow she is cute” and not in the adorable manner like with Yuu in the.. I would not mind curling up next to her with a manga or my Nintendo Switch kinda way. Sayaka doesn’t have an easy life.she discovered she was into girls rather early when her Senpai told her.. It  was just a phase and being a lesbian is wrong. She lived by that mantra and left her private all-girl-school in an attempt to “pray the gay away” hoping that interacting with boys would make her straight again. Only to find out it didn’t. Her dirty blond hair, her little mannerism being al stoic. I think she could push my ambition a bit further while I could make her more outgoing.

(I kinda wish to take Touko’s place.. Sayaka was fun at that moment)

Bloom into you is a great show about identity and the search of it. The three characters all represent a phase we can go through in search for ourselves. Yuu is the one when you haven’t really figured out. When your friends are further in live than you are you could end up as there supporting actor, but you should always play the lead role in the story of your live! You might not be miserable, but everything feels very dulled, as highlights are never about youl. Touko is what you get when you try to be someone you are not. Total and inescapable misery. You will need someone else to break free of this. In my case it was a friend who confessed something major, who was welcomed so warmly that I thought… what am I doing pretending .. this isn’t real. A few months later I was finally be able to take of the mask and be the real me. Sayaka did this as well and while the show does make it very clear that we do not always get what we want in fact, we should always want more than we can have anyway. Because that is how we grow and how we strive. We have to accept that things aren’t perfect and sometimes we do have to settle.

Sayaka accepts she can not have Touko but chooses the happiness her “regular” company provides rather than not having any at all.  While she tries to outdo Touko in school-work she never does, she doesn’t overwork herself but accepts her limits, hence why she doesn’t tell Touko next time she will try even harder. She simply tells her friend that if she slips up, she will be there. Sayaka has been through her own hell, but stays strong, she knows who she is and who she wants to be and makes steps to be happy as herself. I respect her and think she deserves someone who is good for her, she needs someone who is in the same phase of life as her and she is pretty darn cute. So I think we might have found a great match, in a great anime series.

More Pinkie In Search for Waifu Posts

Liz and the Blue Bird (Part 1)

9 thoughts

  1. Yuu’s declaration of her nonexistant love was surprising for me too! It really shook things up in comparison to the majority of romances and made her romance feel alot more than just a romance. It was more like a long, winding path to learning and understanding herself + the cutesy romance. The same could be said about Touko and her identity issue.

    I just love the realism of their relationship. Not everything can be sunshine and happy happy fun times…still doesn’t stop this anime from being hella cute tho!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think the show really had a great set up.. it all felt very real and I could relate to all 3 of the main girls. For the first time in a romantic show I felt like.. yeah this is actually kinda how love ACTUALLy works instead of that disney smoke and mirrors.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I honestly related to Yuu so much in this anime. She made me think about myself in some ways and got me into thinking “yeah, I think I’m pretty ace.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt that strong of an attachment to anyone. Even people I dated and that might be sad.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Glad I am not alone in the sentiment then. I don’t think she is fully an Ace in reality though.
      She just expects to much out of love because of all the messed up input we get about how love should be.

      Still she is very relatable if you are on the ace side of the spectrum. She so oftenly spoke exactly what I felt when I am hugged or kissed. So I think she is a very well written character that I really needed. It’s great to find someone to relate to and it was way to long that I found someone like that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh no, does definitely not. Especially the track scenes where Touko captured her heart and other scenes. She’s definitely a girl in love.

        Yeah, exactly. I don’t think I’ve seen a character like Yuu before. Even in Ikuhara works that explore sexuality, there hasn’t been an ace character unless there was in Penguin Drum that I couldn’t get into. I really like Yuu a lot. She deserves so much attention and thought.

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I found them a cute couple , I do not break up couples. Miyako would a candidate if single. Riko is basicly Sayaka but a few years later but hides her true self again quite a bit, I feel by Riko’s age Sayaka would be fully out and proud.
      I feel I would gain more from a Sayaka pushing me a bit forward than from a Miyako who is mostly supportive, plus i prefer Sayaka’s softer and girlier looks.

      Liked by 1 person

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