So I had some time and creativity left so it’s time for a very late night post for me. The fourth installment in the series of my New Years Eve Party, but the final one I will be actually writing. So spoiler, in the next post I won’t refer to this one .. save for an edited line here or there. This list gave me the most trouble, five movie characters I’d invite to New Years Eve… why is this more difficult? Because most of the time movie characters a re other people as well.. which makes it weird. Luckily I mostly worked my way around that. Check out our movie guests and enjoy.
Movie Guest Number 1 : D-O (Star Wars) : The PA System
I have seen Rise of the Skywalker ……. and it was not good. Disney managed to turn Star Wars in a Disney afternoon cartoon that is stupid and has little good elements. It had some good scenes, the characters are still pretty awesome…except for Rey and the atmosphere is there.. but that’s about it. The story I am.. let’s say not a big fan off but there is a thing that I kinda liked about this movie. A funny new little character, that is basically your new Porg, Ewok, Gungan or insert other cutesie comic relief thing. A very old basic droid named D-O (pronounced Dio) A tiny megaphone on a wheel, which has some mastery of galactic basic making it one of the few droids we can actually understand. It’s straight to the point and brief speaking in terms as “Wheel Squeaky” “Wheel Unqueaked… thank you” which gives it a charm. It will be perfect to let roll around the area and do some announcements , Buffet opened, restrooms clogged, band now playing, stuff like that. You see I am oftenly ignored when I say things like these.. people do not pay attention to me… but a megaphone on a wheel that’s waaaaaay more interesting………*sigh*
Of course he would also be invited for the memes. I could tell it to give Kamina a kiss and when some other guests fall for his charm the little wheel with a megaphone would say…”Ha you thought you kissed him first but it was I D-O” You gotta love memes! Just having it run around shouting Za Warudo would also be adorable, and I am already getting incontinent with laughter when I am thinking of making it sprint on the road while it shouts Roado Roller..Daaaaaaa… see since it’s a wheel it rolls on the road.. and it is called D-O. Everyone will love this thing so much! Does D-O have other practical uses? No, it’s design and size make it absolutely unfit for anything else than just announce some stuff. It’s tinier than BB8 so it would probably even have trouble knocking down a beer bottle. It can tell you things about the sith and all that stuff, but disney made that stuff so edgy and evil looking that every person with some semblance of sanity and common sense would say… nah! D-O can help up us gather and can facinate you if you see it moving about, but hey if we use it as a PA system it will still be more functional as it was in that Disney flick.
Movie Guest Number 2: The Four Horsemen : The Magicians
The band will not be able to preform constantly they will have to have some time of between sets. Of course I need a spectacular act for that and what act is greater than a show of the four horsemen. These magician thieves were introduced in the Now You See me Movies. Two flicks I just absolutely adored. It’s campy ..but such good camp and the shows of the four magicians. I would very much like to be there. Why? Because they steal millions and give it to the crowd. Of course there is a catch to it which means I might not be bestowed with any free cash but since I am writing the rule.. it definitely would happen. We could see them rob a bank and we would get the cash as a crowd. Now that is something else than pulling a bunny from a hat. Though in the second movie one of the horseman talks about pulling a hat from a bunny. Now that I would like to see. Apparently the trick did not go over to well with the crowd though, I bet PETA is involved. Ugh… I just wanna see good magic tricks and in their movies the protagonists sure treat us to a few damn good tricks. For those who haven’t seen Now You See me yet.. you’d be in for a treat. With the second movie focussing more on street tricks, they can even perform elsewhere when the band is on stage. Great versatility.
Now why would I choose magic as a surprise act? Well since I am selecting on a movie base.. if I’d pick Clowns I’d be doing us all a disservice. It, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, Joker, Clownnado (clowns in a tornado)! This is a list of movies featuring clowns and I would not want any of them at my party. I do not like any other circus act either besides magic, and this is magic that can make us wealthy. There is an appeal to having everyone be fooled on a massive scale, an excitement that your mind is interpreting something wrong. You know you are being fooled but you do not know how. The Horseman do that on steroids. Merrit McKinney is the hypnotist of the group who could perhaps unpanda me or hypothise me a date, Daniel Atlas played by Jesse Eisgenberg and me could have very interesting coversations while Jack Wilder picks a few pockets for me, sorry for all of you but a girl has gotta eat. Lula , the second female horseman seems like an interesting character as well, just someone who is fun to hang out with and learn some scams from and to play mindgames on my friends so I beat them more easily in board games. Wealth, Power and the ability to mindfuck your friends. This is what Gold D Roger promised to those who would find his treasure at the end of the Grand Line but since I get seasick in a bathtub. I will take this route and follow the horsemen.
Movie Guest Number 3 : Elsa : The Daycare lady
So an animated character and another character belonging to the disney cartel made her way on this list. Yet this one is for good , good reasons. You see I hate children. Like honestly they make me super uneasy. Since I don’t fully control my motor functions and can twitch and sometimes even full spasm an arm or a leg I am SUPER afraid of hurting them while they run around me. Because I can never explain them something is wrong with me and they competely demonise me, which triggers an anxiety in me .. makes me more tense and enlarges the problem. Childeren make me so uneasy I go through actual lengths to avoid them. Babies is probably my most irrational fear, while I love baby yoda I’d cut off and sell my own legs not to have to go to a baby shower. In fact I think I have never been to one since the darkest day. In my past when I was like the age of 12 and my “dissease/disability” wasnt as apparant yet a friend of my mothers once gave me a baby to hold. It threw up on me and the tense thing started. I could not hold on to it properly anymore and I really hurt it. By accident of course and it was fine just in pain.. people started to yell at me and I freaked out turned into a brick of tension. I tried to run but I could not and hurt myself as well.It wasn’t the only snafu I had, the twitch started to happen more and more and my unhapiness around kids increased. Since everyone is welcome at my party.. and some of you may have kids that means I need someone to look after them. Who better than Elsa of Arendelle?
Children flock to her, and she can create ear muffs for herself so she doesn’t hear those accused banshee wails those little people produce. If Elsa is anything like the people who cosplay her she will do well with kids as well and be able to tame the wild minions of satan. Should she truely be unable to appease them she can always encapsulate them in ice and leave them to defrost for a while. Sure their heart might freeze but with a kiss from their mother and it’s all better. She even has access to a world beyond ours, in a sense where we can safely deposit children without any physical evidence to be found by law enforcement. Convenient!!! I really don’t wish harm upon the little imps but if it would be the only way to keep them away from me…. I’d have a difficult choice to make. Anyway.. Elsa is beloved by both kids and grown ups, can drive people wild if she sings Let it Go on the Karaoke machine and she can even do some effects for when our band preforms Snow Halation. So much options to go with for Elsa.. though I heard she really doesn’t want to build a snowman with the kids. Of course we can investigate the rumors that Elsa might be into women.. but if the kids are around her, I shall not be the one who does the research, but at our party anything can happen.
Movie Guest Number 4: Ron Burgundy:The Social Media Hyper
As a blogger I would of course not just throw this New Years Party without any reason. I’d want to create some new fans, grow and create that haven where people talk and interact with each other. A real blogging friendship of sorts. Of course that means playing the social media game and I am not good at that. Now a backwards thinking white cisgender male privileged news reporter that clearly does not know the meaning of the word PC that is a much better choice. Think about it, everyone who knows Ron Burgundy loves it when he is acting like an insensitive asshole.. so he can not say anything wrong. That kind of power is incredible in this day and age. He could hate or love my party and either way he would perfectly amusable to people. Some people would not be allowed to bash my party because I am not privileged, not straight and not a man so only Ron Burgundy can tell what he truly feels. He might hate women and thinks we have less of a brain, but should he like the party it would be quite amazing. More than likely he won’t but think about it, getting roast by Ron Burgundy could still be pretty hype. He roasted Justin Bieber so I would be honoured if the thinks the party is bad as well. Plus the whole social media circus would make me super famous so I better make sure I stay Classy.
There is something about the 70’s honesty that really appeals to me. It is something we forgot. We have to be so correct about everything that our opinions don’t matter anymore as long as they are not pc. Our own voice has drowned in a sea of things we have to take into account. We need a Ron Burgundy who isn’t afraid to step onto things .. without doing it to troll or provoke. Just speak your mind in an honest matter, no matter how petty your opinion might be, because petty opinions still matter. We can only say things to each other if they are nice, so sometimes we are nice just to be able to say something even if we don’t really agree. Not Ron Burgundy! He says what he thinks, nothing more nothing less. He can create some buzz for me as some memes. Plus I think it could make for a great Ron Burgundy movie, where he ends up in a pink bubbly tropical drink filled resort filled with anime character and social justice warriors. I could sell the movie rights.. while getting hyped on twitter… oh wow finally my days of poverty are over! Thank you Ron Burgundy.
Movie Guest Number 5: Indiana Jones: The lost and Found Guy
Now I plan for you all to have a fun and memorable evening but I also plan to get you nice and liquored up so our memories of the night might end up a bit blurry. People will lose their stuff, like keys, coats, self respect and wallets. Since we are on a beach things tend to get lost even easier taken by the sand or of course the local tribes might take your wallet or your girlfriend to sacrifice it to their fire god… of course the island is perfectly safe.. it’s just the Eldritch Pokémon, the local tribes, pirates and our own drunkenness that can pose a bit of a risk. Dr Henry Jones is the ideal man to help us the day after. The man found the arc of the covenant. He found the crystal skull and of course the holy grail. Surely he can help us find our keys as well. Digging up our relics by the beach is what he used to do as an official archaeologist. Should the tribal folk get our stuff he can venture into their temple of doom to get our missing party goers back. An ideal guy to keep our stuff together and deal with our hangovers. and get our shit back together again. If he can find relics he can find keys right? Let’s find out.
Besides think of it how amazing it would be if the Indiana Jones theme begins playing when an old man with a whip and cowboy head is just searching the beach for your left slipper when the Indiana Jones themes begins playing… or is it the Turkish Star Wars theme.. those are eerily similar. So yeah, he’s looking for your slipper and the theme starts playing pretty amazing. I bet if we can get the one from the earlier movies that some people will like his whip as well. Just watch out for rolling boulders. Luckily for doctor Jones my island is completely snake free. Which means he will not get distracted while looking for your stuff either. He isn’t an ideal choice though, for example he oftenly travels with an asian kid… that drives. I do not like children so I really hope he doesn’t take that one along. Perhaps I should make sure I have a driver with the final post so Short Round can stay at home. The good doctor is kind of a womaniser and gets into situations with kinda gross food, so he might make the evening a bit less classy than it could be. He doesn’t appreciate good swordsmanship for example. Now I do not mind if you have some fun with good old Indiana or if you use him to find ancient relics hidden on my beach to keep them for yourself. Have fun! But whatever you do ! DO NOT let that man near my fridge.
And that concludes our movie characters. My next post will be in but a few hours after I had some sleep. With five game characters I’d invite to New Year’s Eve we shall conclude this guest list of epic proportions and ready ourselves for the party of the decade. .. which is funny because it will also be the last party of the decade. For those incapable of reading the final post before we move into 2020. Happy New Year!